No More Star Wars Movies
by Vote Celtice and Mondale 2016
Summary: These are something's I hated of the Prequels and loved about the Originals basically I'm only talking about The Lightsaber duels which is a huge problem and difference from the first three movies and the new three.


1987 Eastern Conference Finals

Irvin Kershner deserved an Oscar for best Director for his work on The Empire Strikes Back.

Lincoln, Nebraska he was born and raised On the playground where He spent most of his days Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool

And all shooting some...oh wait that's the wrong show...it took me 4 days to make that joke so you better have liked it.

Normal POV In House

Bert (Our Main character) is sitting Down on the couch watching the Clone Wars "Revenge" personally Bert things the same way the author does he doesn't really like The Clone Wars it's just a ploy for money and cheap sloppy writing made by people who don't care about fans or Star Wars.

But his friend Max thinks on the other side of the coin...or lightsaber hahaha that took me 3 months to come up with.

He loved everything star wars cause he's a drooling idiot who only loves lightsaber he thinks the Originals are overrated and that the prequels were superior cause of The better effects and how they portrayed Anakin as a good, kind and noble Jedi...fucking dumass.

Then there's Padme (I put a girl in it so it wouldn't be gay) who's more of a Star Trek fan but respects Star Wars but only in its original trilogy as does Bert cause of the money grubbing, terrible sloppy shitty writing that's done and all of the CGI scenes basically over using it in the prequels and the fact that the originals felt more like real films.

It also is ironic that she also hates Padme's character since they share the same name.

She and Bert also hate Anakin, Ashoka, Mace, Prequel Obi-Wan and Prequel Yoda.

Max however believes that the Prequels are great cause of more improved Lightsaber duels, Jango Fett which is weird cause I don't even remember him...also Jar Jar Binks and a bunch of stupid shit he also doesn't even know why Star Wars fans are mad at Lucas he seems to think thats it's because of the Midi...something because we can't be Jedi but that makes no sense even Fanboys aren't that into the story they know it's impossible but we hate why something so great that was a religion over in that universe it was a great thing to see Yoda tell us about the all knowing force.

We hate those Mid things because it takes all of the magic away.

And why we hate Vader saying Noooo! In Return Of The Jedi cause it brings memories back of Revenge Of The Sith.

Okay that's one of The reasons but it's a really small reason we hate that mostly because in that scene Vader is filled with conflict and is forced to make a decision plus we can't see his face due to the mask so it makes it more tense like we don't know what's he going to do it was a great scene now it's ruined cause Vader screams Noooo! Like a fucking retared.

Oh wait can I still say retard? I mean he's just screaming Nooo! Like a child...who's 8...and retarded.

Also he loves the new lightsaber duels thinking like the true asshole he is that it has more debt and realism to it than the oringinals okay let me show you what we had in the oringinals one film at a time.

•A New Hope

We have Obi-Wan Kenobi vs Darth Vader now this is more interesting than what happens in Revenege Of The Sith cause it feels real plus it's great because all we know so far is Vader was once Obi-Wan's apprentice that killed Anakin.

It's interesting to see all of this unfold and given the time we've gotton to know these characters (Vader,Kenobi) we root for Obi-Wan to kick Vader's ass but are saddened to see him die but later come to understand why he did it.

He couldn't just run to the Falcon cause Stormtroopes were blocking the way and even if they weren't he couldn't just run to the ship it would be awkward and make no sense to us and to the whole scene in general it would kinda ruin the film.

So Kenobi does one of the greatest things in the entire movie and there's allot of great ones he becomes one with the force so Luke can take his focus off of trying to get him on the ship and leave Kenobi so Luke can continue his mission hense ending one arc (Obi-Wan) and beginning another. (Luke)

In this one we have Sacrifice.

•The Empire Strikes Back

After the battle of Hoth Luke is told by Ben AKA Obi-Wan Kenobi AKA Alec Guinness to go to the Dagobah system to be taught by Yoda these are the greatest scenes in this fantastic film (Thanks to Irvin Kershner) we learn about the Force and how it's more than just a super power that's being used for evil it's they're religion it's a beautiful mystical being that controls all of the universe and binds everything together or to put in it a more simpler term like Mark Hamil did.

"Relgions Greatest Hits"

That actually is it the greatest parts of religions that binds that world together Jedi are more than space knights they were also beleivers in faith over secularism...I know it sounds gay but still it's pretty damn cool just like how Lucas, Kurtz pulled off the World War II in space thing perfectly.

But basically we meet Yoda and he's this small green thing that lives on that planet what I thought watching this film Is Yoda is a annoying son of a bitch and should just take us to the Jedi all ready and that's how Luke acted and thats how we would have acted.

what made Yoda so magical is that we never expected this tiny green guy to be a Jedi Master we all had a preconceived notion that there would be this tall intimating man to be a Jedi by making Yoda a little guy it proves the force is beyond the physical before the prequels took all of those concepts and threw them in the garbage Yoda seemed so wise and full of knowledge also powerful he should have been above using a lightsaber of course he should of had one but never use it to do video game shit.

Anyways that fight show'd how superior Vader was to Luke it didn't have the stupid rule that the good guys must win at the end of every story not that I'm against good guys winning but in all truthfulness I think if movies did what Empire did it would be a better story of good vs evil.

On Bespin Luke battles Vader and Kershner Here makes a small detail a huge factor Vader easily deflects Luke's attacks with one hand with a calm ease toying with him he could totally kick his ass in any minute.

Luke struggles just to keep up as he gets his ass handed to him but does control his fear in the situation up until Vader tells Luke he's his father but regains composure and is willing to kill himself for the Rebellion I always had a feeling he was suppose to die but the writers probably wanted to make another statement about the force by having Luke sucked into a vacuum thing I dunno maybe i'm looking into this too much plus then why did Luke fall onto an antenna and forced to hang on for dear life and call for Ben only for his cries of help to be ignored...I withdrew my statement.

But Again in this duel we had Sacrifice but also temptation and revaluation.

Return Of The Jedi

As we descend into the final chapter of Star Wars...oh right Disney bought it and is now making Episodes VII-VIII-IX Dammit!

Luke Skywalker Vs Darth Vader II

It Ends Here Now!

That was the poster to promote the fight.

So this is it Luke now is a different Man he's a calm, mindful, Strong Jedi Padawan he isn't a Jedi Knight until he confronts Vader but he's a badass he's smarter he's wiser and more patient.

Vader is still the badass he was before and wants to continue the search for Luke to turn him and you see Vader Wants to turn him rather than kill him it's more like he wants to turn rather kill which is weird but he wants to take over the galaxy and needs his sons help.

In this fight we have Anger, Temtation, Sacrafice and Redemption cause Luke losing his cool against his father that's the anger.

The Emporor telling Luke to use his hatred and Luke attempting to crack the Emporors skull that's the Temtation of the Dark-Side.

Vader throws the Emporor throws down a mind shaft which his force lightning shortening out the power in his suit that helps him breath so he dies a hero I none of that stuff in the Prequels of killing children and killing innocent people in Episode II never happened as it should be I'm in denial.

Plus That's Vader's Redemtpion Ahh I love the Original Star Wars they're so awsome...while I'm on this subject Han Shots First always.

What happens at the end of Phantom Menace 3 guys we know nothing about are fighting about something.

Then There's Attack Of The Clones..

what happens when Dooku fights Anakin, Obi-Wan and Yoda...I don't know I don't know whats going on here it doesn't make any sense like why was this here I don't know.

Revenge Of The Shit...I know it's Sith but I don't care it sucks.

Fights that take place:

Obi-Wan, Anakin Vs Dooku

Obi-Wan vs General Grievous

Mace Windu vs Emperor Palpatine

Yoda Vs Emperor Palpatine

Obi-Wan Kenobi vs Darth Vader

Now here in the first one it was okay with Dooku and Anakin given the things that are going on around them the Jedi are trying to save the Chancellor understandable doesn't mean anything more is happening here other than 3 people are swinging swords at each-other it doesn't possess any of the qualities the originals had.

General Grievous Vs Kenobi now this had nothing at all it was more CGI Crap we didn't need with a villain whose pointless time filler.

Windu fight Palpatine alright I get what they're doing but it just seemed dumb this whole process seems stupid they could have just told the Council or The Senate or send more than 4 Jedi to kill and/or capture him now you may say Maybe they were in a rush and in shock so Windu scraped up whatever number of Jedi Masters he could to fight the Sith Lord.

No that ain't true cause they continue the walk at a extremely relaxed pace so he could have gotten 15 Jedi or go to the Council or go to The Senate.

Or they could have just waited to Palatine went outside in front of People and arrest him if he tries to attack you then he'd be exposed by everyone if he doesn't then you can arrest him as planned and elect a new leader in his place.

So in short was this fight needed?

No

was it cool?

It was so-so.

Did it serve a purpose?

Yes to show how retarded Anakin is he just went with they guy with a monster face who claims he once knew a guy who might know how to cheat death...really?

Listen Annie I know you really love Padme but come on you really willing to go for this vague of a Story to go through all of this for some bullshit I mean you don't even question Palpatine anymore after your in the Vader suit you just go along for the rest of your 23 1/2 years of your life in a suit were you'll be nothing but a retarded slave...great job George.

you know Star Wars is better than Star Trek but Gene Roddenberry is better than George Lucas cause Gene also had a great vision for his art and he never destroys it and uses it for money he always knew what was right and wrong to do and never betrayed his fans.

Lucas however never gave a shit for them hence selling it to Disney Star Wars died when Attack Of The Clones came out but now it's 100% over May The Force be with us for these 3 films.

Now to the Clone Wars what happens in that show well...explosion more explosions fighting murder of robots and clones more explosion stupid ass retarded love story I can go on and on about how this show sucks but instead I'll make a plea with the writers of the show.

If you are reading this please please read this part:

Try just try to make a story try to make us care about characters try to do something other the action please just try okay that's all I would settle for is an attempt to do a Story arc that wasn't a comic book or novel before okay make your own story and try to make us care about these characters rather than fitting in more dumb action sequences and maybe the next Trilogy will follow your lead.

But hopefully the Second Trilogy will never be made cause its damn money grabbing scheme and if you think Joss Whedon gonna do it well he's doing the Avangers 2 you can't force a guy to take on another film.

J.J Abrams well he did do Star Trek back in '09 and is currently working on the next Star Trek so nope that ain't gonna happen plus he willingly took his name out of the running to direct a Star Wars movie Whedon has not but still doesn't seem likely to do it.

This is a money scheme that's it that's all did I really need to put the names Bert, Padme and Max in there no but I just wanted names so that's it really.

Now chances are I disappointed you by not delivering any hard punches to the Prequels and for that I apologize but check out Red Letter Media's review of the prequels this guy tears it up and murderers it even prequel fans have to understand this prompts to RLM and hope they continue making great movie reviews.

The one guarantee here is that if Episode VII does come out at least RLM will make a coherent review of his wheather it's half in the bag or a Plinkett review we'll get people who know cinema unlike myself they know how to review films wheather it'll be score or acting or diaglog and so on.

Anyways what do you think of a new trilogy leave a comment in a review on here and tell me why you think it's good to have another trilogy and/or why it's bad.

And who do you think should be in the new trilogy like actors and who should direct it my guess is and this is not who I want directing a star wars movie or any movie for that matter.

Mark Webb or Michael Bay god please no don't let that be well those basturds are free and Disney wants to make a shit zillion dollars so of course they'll hire the people that are free at the moment.

Please Steven Spielberg do Episode VII.

Also these are my opinions so there's no reason to flame me other than a pointless effort to stop me from saying how corrupt George Lucas this is America free country free speach.


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